Thursday, November 6, 2014

Sanctuary of Peace

After a long journey, we have arrived where we were always meant to be. For years, we traveled a road that was arduous, painful, and frightening, but it has lead us to a sanctuary of peace. A sanctuary where we will create decades of art and memories. Rather than sit here and write an enormous post about this beautiful place I've arrived at, I'm going to post a few photos. There will be more over time, but for now I feel these really give a feel of the place.

This is the first photo I ever took of the house. It was originally built for an Austrian couple in the 60's, so the house is considered an Austrian Chalet. The Austrian influence is obvious throughout the house, especially with the open beams in the living room and the loft.

One of the first things you see when you walk in is the massive, stone fireplace. I think it almost has a medieval feel to it, and Haziah has already found his new home next to it.

This is the view out the living room windows. It's the perfect spot for indoor plants, but also for watching the birds. The property is completely surrounded by trees, and on one side the property disappears into an expanse of forest, which is where the Barred Owl calls are coming from at night. There are also hawk nests, so we hear their calls all day.

This is where I've seen the most species of birds. When we moved in, I saw few birds on the property, but after setting up two feeders (there will be many more), I've seen more birds every day. There have been Blue Jays, Cardinals, Juncos, White-breasted Nuthatch, Tufted Titmouse, Downy Woodpeckers, Goldfinch, Black-capped Chickadees, and Chipping Sparrows. The number of species I'm seeing is increasing by the day! As an avid bird lover, this is pretty much thrilling to me.

This is the view out the dining room windows, where I set up another makeshift feeder in the birdbath. The Blue Jays love this one. Of course, every time I get out my camera, the rascals disappear, but I'll capture them at some point!

Another gorgeous view. This is the front yard, but viewed from the loft window.

This is a side view of the house, looking towards the dining room windows. The house sits on a hill, so running around the yard is kind of a workout!

This is the front porch, where I'll be stationed during all warm months! It overlooks the feeder in the pine tree, so the view is lovely. Over to the right is my favorite feeder we haven't set up yet, as it goes on a post that has to be placed in the ground.

Lastly, Gunther surveying his new kingdom from the front porch, billy goat style! I'm amazed how well this dog has adjusted to his new life. He hasn't had any accidents, already knows all the doors to tell us he wants to go out, and sleeps all night in my office in his bed. Every day, he looks forward to patrolling the property and is happy as a lark. I think he feels the way we feel, that this is where we are meant to be.. This is home.

Friday, October 17, 2014

On the Precipice

Few people can truly grasp what it feels like to be a fiction writer. Even many fiction writers themselves don’t feel the certain emotions others of us do about their work. For a lot of them, it’s a hobby, something they enjoy, something they even just do for a living.. But then there are other writers who fall into a different category entirely. Not necessarily in talent or skill, but in the way they feel about their work, but more specifically, their characters. I am, unfortunately, one of those writers I’m talking about.

The love I feel for my current protagonist rivals even the love I feel for many real people. The way I feel about him is as though he is a real person. As though he lives and breathes in some other place I can’t get to, and my heart clenches tightly at just the thought of him. Like a fist, and the idea of letting this character go, of never being able to touch him again, makes me want to ram that fist into a concrete wall.

So many people have asked me why this book isn’t yet finished, and I normally use the excuse of laziness, procrastination, or life just being too hectic. While all of those things are true, the main reason is that I don’t want to let him go yet. I want him to stay present. Relevant. Tied to me as a fledgling not yet ready to leave the nest..

That moment when I allow him to fly towards the horizon, it is finished. He will then belong to everyone who will ever meet him inside this story. He is no longer mine then, and I’m still too in love with him to set him free. When I finally do, there will not be a celebration as one might expect. There will be a period where I grieve for the loss of him. Where I listen to songs that remind me of him and weep. It will feel as though I’ve just left an intimate, four year relationship with someone who saturated my mind on a daily basis. It will feel like a loss more than a triumph, and that, more than anything, lets me know that I’ve chosen the right character. I've chosen the story I was meant to write at this time in my life.

Now, as I stand on the precipice of an entirely new life, in a new place, in a new home, I’m glad I was able to spend this period of my life with this character. This period of sheer strife and pain. He was my release, my comfort, and my escape.. I will finish his story just as I enter this new life, and that’s what makes it hurt so damn much. To leave behind the only thing that got me through one of the darkest moments of my life. The beauty of it is that I know there are people who need him more than I do, and I want him to belong to them.

Putting the blood, sweat, and tears into this novel for four years was the easy part..
It’s saying Goodbye that will tear me apart.

Monday, September 1, 2014

The Limitless Reaches of the Earth - Song / Video Collaboration with The Rose Phantom

I had the pleasure of working with Ted Newsom, aka "The Rose Phantom" on an incredible project. Ted is a phenomenal musician, vocalist, and artist, and when he shared this eight minute track with me that he created I was flooded with ideas of my own. I wrote lyrics, and sang the lead vocal on this song. We also came up with ideas for a video, which has turned out better than I imagined! As well as being gifted musically, Ted is also a gifted filmmaker. This is a combined effort where two visions blended together into one explosion of creative energy, and I couldn't be any happier with the result.

Lyrics :

"Bright and gold the sun does burn.
Hot enough to stun the snakes.
Sand and Earth as red as blood.
Sky so blue it heals your heart.

Trees as far as eyes can see.
Light is seen in dots and beams.
Birds will sing from dawn to dusk.
Owls and wolves make night a dream.

Green to red and back again.
Rain to dust and back again.
Free is how you feel out here.
Free from pain and what is real.

Listen now to what you hear :
Desert song that draws you near..
Forest song erasing fear..
Is it what has brought us here?

An expanse of burnt sienna so daunting, it hints to unborn ideas.
A canopy so lush and green, it mends even the most shattered of dreams.

Can you feel the forest of the Soul?
Can you grasp the desert of the mind?
Landscapes so beautiful it hurts.
The limitless reaches of the Earth,
Are mirrored in our own consciousness.
In the way we search for truth.
In the way we reach for love."

View and purchase the track on Bandcamp :

Jeffrey Smith, aka Ascending Storm created an incredible cover image for this track.

Listen to more of Ted's music and see more videos at :
The Rose Phantom Official Website
The Rose Phantom Youtube

Friday, July 25, 2014

Poetry Readings : "Exoskeleton Man" and "Fluttering Sparrow Heart"

I don't normally like revealing the meaning behind my poems, but this was written about two of my own characters, who reside in an unwritten story. I wrote it from the point of view of a young girl who falls in love with her rugged, older protector as they traverse the wilderness. She battles between her love of him, and her disgust at both his rejection and hatred of himself. This ends when he leaves her behind to avoid breaking a promise to her deceased father. A promise that he would not taint her purity. This poem is from my poetry book "Fragments From Nowhere", which will soon be available as a Motion Book on DeviantART for public viewing. Music in this video is by Kevin MacLeod (

I wrote this poem from the point of view of a sparrow, but it was also intended as an abstract metaphor about conformity. This poem is from my poetry book "Fragments From Nowhere", which will also soon be available as a Motion Book on DeviantART for public viewing. Music in the video is by Kevin MacLeod (

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Closing Chapters

Recent events concerning communication with people online have made me reflect further on a topic I delved into last year. I made this video last Summer, when I was battling a lot of conflicting emotions concerning the apathy and disinterest of people online when it comes to meaningful connections. I've since vastly changed, even from this video - but I decided to finally share it, as I feel like it was the first time I was able to move on from the sorrow this caused me in the past, and also take responsibility for the fact that I was most often setting myself up for disappointment. I wrote a massive amount of text on how people no longer wish to connect anymore, then a large text about how most friendships aren't meant to last. Both of those are no longer online, as I feel they weren't terribly accurate to what I feel at this point.. I've since reflected on my personality type, and on the fact that loving people online is usually a waste of emotion, as it very rarely ever produces anything meaningful. It is often an "excuse to get hurt", if you will. I'll provide the links to those posts, if you're interested in reading more about this :

Personality Type

Love's an excuse to get hurt

Closing Chapters from Taylor on Vimeo.